Mr First "No Pay" Date

This is a date that I tell everyone about and they all have a good laugh about so I thought I would share this one first.

In the dating world, there is always the age old question, "who pays for the first date?". Some say it's the guy, others say it's the girl and the rest say it should be split between both parties. Being quite a headstrong woman who has heard of many guys complain that they have to pay, I actually believe that it should be split between both parties but you always offer to pay.

I'm pretty sure that Patrick* must've known me too well and knew that this was the case and took advantage of it.

Patrick and I met at university when we did a few classes together. Throughout the time we saw each other in class, we started to become good friends and eventually it got to the grey zone where you don't know if you should cross over to the dating side or stay on the friends side. You all know what I mean, when you take turns in paying for the whole meal, you share the long hugs, you are always there for each other when you need someone to talk to and so on. The only exception here is that Patrick always paid for everything and never let me get away with paying for anything...

So when we decided to go on a first date, you would think that we would be all good right? WRONG!

It was a cloudly day with a glimpse of sunshine shining through the gaps. I remember waking up being nervous but confident knowing that I had a general idea of what today would entail. I get dressed to impress and I drive to Patrick's house which was in the inner city suburbs.

When I got to his place, he was still getting dressed but from what I saw, he looked impeccable with a clean, fresh button up shirt and dressing it down with jeans and sneakers. I didn't get butterflies though, but I guess since we knew each other, I couldn't expect it.

When he was ready, he drove me to a nice bistro in one of the more high end suburbs of the town and we were seated at the front corner with a view to observe the outside world (great position to avoid awkward silences should they ever arise).

We talked about what we would usually talk about, how university was going, what we have been up to and started to dive in a more into our personal lives and our history. It was all going well and I was thinking that to myself that this date was a great decision.

But then we got to the stage of the date where we had to pay for the meal. I had assumed that since this was a first date, he would play his "first date" move on me and I played mine too so we both got our wallets out ready to pay. The cashier tells us how much it was and this is what happened....

Patrick starts to open up his wallet and takes out enough money to pay for the entire meal
Me: "I'll pay"
Patrick: "Oh, are you sure?"
Me: "Um...yeah"
Patrick: "Oh, ok then"
Patrick closes his wallet and puts it back into his pocket.

So I ended up forking up a $70 lunch for 2 on a first date...

Needless to say, there was no second date after this incident and now that I think about it, we haven't actually hang out ever since then.

It actually got me wondering for quite a while though, how come when we were in the grey zone, he always insisted on paying but when it came to the point where he had to step up his game, he let me take charge? Was this his way of trying to get me to be impressed that he's willing to step down? Did he want a free meal? Was it a combition of the two?

Up to this day, I still have no idea...

So to my readers, might I suggest you revise your strategy for the first date. If you are willing to pay, 'fess up but if you don't want to, perhaps think about how you word it to your date.

Until next time...keep strong xo


*Fake name has been used to protect the identity of this individual. I think I would want my name to be fake too if I was the one who did this.