This is one of those stories.
I was only 13 and it was time where social media websites such as Facebook and Myspace had yet to be created. It was the time when online chatrooms were the trend and this is where it all startred.
Being quite a sheltered teenager, I wasn't sure aware of the concerns of online stalking, abuse or anything of the sort. Instead, I was the innocent one who genuinely wanted to make friends and online chatrooms was the only avenue apart from going to an all girls school. Of course, you meet the scary characters, the ones who ask overly intrusive questions like "what is your bra size" and the ones who claim to be in love with you as soon as you say "hi" to them (there's a story about that one coming soon). Out of all the bad and scary, there was one that outshone them all and most all, was someone who I have a genuinely great conversation with.
His name was DT, was 2 years older than me, lived in Melbourne and now that I think back to it, had the three things that I happen to go for in guys even up til today - Arrogant (not intended but I just happen to), Nerdy and Athletic. I can't remember the first conversation we had, but I do remember that after that first conversation, we would try to arrange when we would both be online and as soon as the other's person nickname appeared on the main screen, we instantly created a private chatroom and talked for what seemed like hours on end (mind you, during highschool, I was lucky enough to be online for 2 hours).
After a few months, I'm pretty sure I had decided to stop using this particular chatroom (or got banned by my parents) and thus lost contact with him. Of course being young and all, I didn't really look into our converstions as anything more than pure enjoyment to get me through the night. I had completely forgotten about him as I started to have close friends at school and got to meet other people through them. This was also when MSN was starting to perk up to become the next big thing so chatting with your real friends seemed more worthwhile. You might not think that this is important information, but it will be when you find out what happens next.
As I going onto my 14th year, I had become close friends with one of my school friends, Sarah, who was also using the same chatroom as me the year before. One night, we were talking on MSN and she told me that there was someone who added her on MSN but was actually looking for me. I wasn't able to know who it was and even after she passed me their email address, I still have no idea who he was. It wasn't until the first few sentences we typed to each other that I had realised it was DT.
Ever since I had gone off from the chatroom, DT had been trying to find me. He had contacted people from the same chatroom to see if they knew who I was (which was actually quite hard since I used quite a few aliases and he was one of the very few who knew my real name) and after a year of searching, he had managed to get through to Sarah to get to me. If there was an emoticon or a text icon that could resemble that moment in a romance movie where the two main characters run towards each other and kiss with the sunset in the background, that was how it exactly was. And just like that, our hours on end conversations started all over again.
I guess me being young and naive, I never really looked at DT as being someone to go out with - I guess distance played a big part of that. But when I think back to it now, I would that if that was me now, I would consider moving to be with him. It was just amazing that the conversations we had seemed to be complete yet endless. We always had something to talk about, whether it be a general topic like "How was your day?" to something deep and meaningful. I still remember that when I found out that I was selected to be in the opening ceremony for the Goodwill Games, he was the first one I told and clearly the most excited one out of everyone I told. He actually type the gesture of *hugs and lifts you into a circle*. Up to this day, I will find that to be one of the sweetest gestures that a guy has done for me.
As the months went by and he was starting to get serious about his senior studies, little did I think that our conversations would come to an end soon.
I still remember the last few conversations we had, we were both talking about how he should be focussing on his studies and that he was going to cut off MSN but we promised to be pen pals. We actually exchanged home addresses in our last conversation, we both double checked that we had the correct details and when it was time to go offline, it was a prolonged one where neither of us wanted to say good night for the last time but alas, it had to happen.
After all these years, I never got around to sending him a letter or email (since I changed my email address shortly after that) and I'm pretty sure that I still have his address written down in the back of a notebook somewhere. What's stopped me from writing before and what's stopping me now you ask? I guess as the years went by, my way of thinking started to become more complex and I started to overanalyse every situation I was involved in. But every once in a blue moon, I will have the following questions come into my head:
Why do I think about him after all these years when I have been interesed in other guys since DT?
What would happen if I tried to write him a letter?
What do I want to get out of the letter?
Would he actually think the same as he did 10 years ago?
Would he remember me?
I think that last question is the one that holds me back the most. However, when I look back to it, I actually prefer leaving this as the unfinished love story. You will soon find out that most of my love stories have a bad or not so pleasant ending to it so I think I want to preserve this as being one of the few love stories that didn't have a bad ending.
If anything, I will always reflect back to that time as the years of my innocence and simple thinking and know that whenever I feel like I have too much happening in my life, I will always be able to look back to this time and know that, once upon a time, life was simple and know that I can always become that girl once again for a few moments just to escape.
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